Watching your kids grow up is one thing, but lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how much growing up we do as parents. There is the obvious explanation – once you have kids, you aren’t a kid anymore – but I think there is so much growing up that takes place as you learn how to be a parent. It’s taken me 5 years, but I think I’m getting there.

I don’t normally believe in New Year’s Resolutions because I think statements like “Eat less desert” and “Lose 10 pounds” are stupid, but this year I quietly made a resolution to myself (although I guess it’s not so “quiet” anymore since I’m typing it up for the world to read). One thing I am not good at, as a mom, is slowing down. I’m sure this is completely normal for someone who spends all day trying to keep it under control with a house full of preschoolers, but it bothers me. I’m constantly thinking two, three or four steps ahead, as in “okay they are eating lunch now, so I should go ahead and prep the sponges and the dust buster, make sure there is room in the dishwasher, get clean diapers ready for nap time, and if I get at least two of them down for naps together then maybe I can finish some laundry so that I don’t have to do it tonight.” Like I said, probably normal, but it bothers me that I can’t just sit down and relax while they eat. So I’m trying to change that and just let things go a little bit. A few crumbs won’t hurt anyone, and they make that exterminator bill seem worthwhile.

One way I decided to force myself to slow down is to focus on reading. I am so embarrassed to admit it, but reading often slips under the radar because I’m worried about getting that next load of laundry in, cleaning up a meal, or dealing with some other “crisis.” Odds are, it’s not a real crisis. For the past month or so, we’ve been reading a ton. I make sure that each kid gets to sit on my lap and read for at least 30 minutes a day. They can do it in pairs or threes, or by themselves, but I make sure it gets done. It’s a lot of time, but it’s important. And the funny thing? I’m loving it. I feel more relaxed, I love getting the special quiet time with the kids, and oddly enough I’m not really worried about what else I could be doing. Often our reading sessions coincide with bedtime, but sometimes we just plop down in the middle of the day and read a stack of books.

So, like I said, we started our family reading marathon about a month ago. Here’s the amazing thing (and my motivation to keep going): it turns out that Roman can read (oh yeah, he’s 3 1/2). We had no idea! He must have been picking up on us teaching Harper, but he can consistently read 3 and 4-letter words. Moreover, in just a few short weeks Harper has gone from what I call “frustrated reading” where she could sound out the words, but got so flustered after a few minutes that she would just throw in the towel, to reading “real, actual books” (as Roman would say). Today she sat with Portman and read the “Frog and Toad” anthology for an hour and a half! She’s slow, but she is reading. It is so exciting to watch it “click” for her, and we are so proud of her.

But I digress.

Growing up. The best way to describe it, for me at least, is that the past five years have beaten out any last bit of selfishness that I was clinging to. Yeah, sometimes I think it might be nice to kick back and watch that trashy TV show without having to fold laundry and do dishes at the same time. But you know what? I can do that in 10 years when the kids are more helpful around the house. I’m still young enough to handle staying up late to clean, so while they are awake I’m trying hard to enjoy their company, because they really are the best company I can ask for… most of the time